CrossRoads

I was browsing through a book called “The road less traveled” by Scott Peck. The very first sentence shook the ground beneath my feet. The sentence contained just 3 words, 3 very powerful words. “Life is difficult.”

So bloody true. Who said life has to be simple? We all want our lives to be perfect. When its not we start cribbing. But what is the fun if we don’t have challenges?

I was wondering what is that makes life difficult? After a little thought I realized that its “choices” is one of the primary reasons that makes life difficult.

When we think our lives are going on smoothly, we hit a cross road. In the first place it is quite difficult to take a decision because all the choices we have in front of us have pros and cons. The perfect option is never there. Like Alanis Morissette says in one of her songs: “It’s like having ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife”.

After careful consideration we take a decision on one choice. Sometimes events happen the exact same way we expect it to and the rest of the times it is a total letdown of our anticipation.

We get upset and start wondering why we never chose the other options which we had discarded. And the next time we are in another crossroad we call it a problem.

If things don’t work out the way we want it to, we still have a “choice”. A choice to either feel sad or to embrace the truth and move on or be happy that we had an enriching experience. We may lose or we may win but we will never be here again. So let us look at what we have in life and be happy; instead of feeling sad, searching for something we don’t have.

Poster

PBT

Half marathon

Visualize your dreams

I got into playback theatre to improve my non verbal communication. I must confess that it has helped me with more than what I had thought it would. I learnt visualization.

The entire group stands in a circle; each participant holds their neighbor’s right hand in their left hand and places their right hand in the other neighbor’s left hand. With eyes closed and the group visualizes that they are growing as individuals and in the mind count backwards from 100 to 1. Count 1, 2, 3. Then tell to themselves “this is going to happen”. Count 4, 5, 6. “this will happen”.

The first time I saw this I said to myself “What the ….?”. There was a participant who was a veteran of playback theatre who saw me and said “Dude this has worked for us for 4 years. Do it”. I thought there was nothing to lose and let me try.

I closed my eyes. I imagined I was growing as an individual. It felt good inside. I counted backwards (with lot of difficulty, because my mind would wander off). When I said to myself “this is going to happen and this will happen”, there was a burst of energy which was dormant.

After a couple of sessions, other participants said visualization makes them feels lighter, relaxed and it increased their concentration/focus in their work. But I think this is an altered state of consciousness with positive thoughts.

According to research, the use of altered states of consciousness (hypnosis, meditation, sleep programming) can lead to a transformation of nearly every part of your life. Here's how the theory works: First, you must understand that human beings are structures. The structure of your body is composed of bone, muscle, ligaments. Your brain, however, is given structure by the thoughts and memories that dictate your actions. Your mental programming (all your past thoughts, actions, experiences and learning) provides your brain structure.

Research shows that complex structures (such as the human brain) require an enormous and consistent flow of energy to maintain their structure. The up-and-down pattern of brainwave levels reflects a fluctuation of energy to the brain. The larger the brainwave levels, the larger the fluctuation of energy.

When you are fully awake your brainwave levels would show up as small, up-and-down lines and there is little fluctuation in the level of energy. The small fluctuations of energy are suppressed by the brain. They are compact and allow little new programming to enter.

When you alter your state by means of meditation (or with hypnosis, consciousness when you are crossing over into sleep) there is a large fluctuation in the level of energy in your brain level.

Large fluctuations of energy can cause the structure to break apart and reorganize itself into an even more complex and higher form. That's why suggestions given to an individual in such a state is so effective in creating change. It tears apart old programming and creating new behaviors and viewpoints.

I wanted to put this to a test, before the half marathon. There was very little training I had done. I wanted to do it. Visualization made me believe not running the half marathon was not an option. So I practiced every day and finished the half marathon. I started to believe I could do it and I did it.

In this case the cliché is true “When you don’t consider a suggestion – you are rejecting your own potential”. So start visualizing your dreams and achieve it.

Angels do exist.

Unconditional love. I am lucky to be a recipient of one. It is definitely god sent. The one who showers me with unlimited love is definitely life’s true angel. The one I am talking about is none other than my mother.

She is a home maker and works more than every body else. She pampers and takes care of everybody and everything expecting nothing in return. And I don’t even know how to acknowledge that I am blessed.

She has taken care of me during my first step, first fall, and first day at school through graduation. She has spent sleepless nights attending to my broken legs and bruised ego. It is maybe because of this caring that she lovingly gives and the passion that she shows that her beauty with passing years only grows.

She is my perfect fan. Anything I want becomes her desire too. Any given day for her I always look better than Tom Cruise and nothing I do is wrong. She never says no for anything I ask. No matter what obstacle she faces she is always confident in front of me so that my hopes are always pinned.

She has always been there to listen to my woes, my bragging and my frustration. She sheds more tears in pain than me when she knows I am in pain. And occasionally I hurt her too and add to her tears. I console myself telling that we hurt the people we love the most.

With this setting I can say "I know that angels do exist; without magic wands in their hand, wings on their back and halos over their head".

The way I see future

Businesses always want to have strategic advantage to out perform their rivals. In present day and age computers and software seems to be that strategic advantage.

In the early 1900’s businesses manufactured products. To succeed in the face of competition from competitors, they wanted to deliver their products faster to the customer. So they located their manufacturing closer to the river or the coast to ship their product. They realized that they could not reach the places not close to any river. So the business which could build its own rail network became very successful.

These businesses saw a very big market for their goods. They wanted to plug the demand supply gaps. Working through the nights was their best option. Since most of the successful businesses were already close to the river they installed water turbines to generate electricity.

Electricity and railways was a tactical advantage for the businesses then. Now we see electricity and railways have become a commonly available infrastructure and they no more provide that strategic advantage.

Similarly computers and software will be come a commonly available infrastructure. The revolution has already begun in the form of Open Source Software. This coupled with the availability of cheap computers make this advantage very short lived.

Get in touch with your inner child.

I loved the time when I could cry in front of my family after a cartoon character died in an animated movie. I loved the time when I could jump all over the place when I got a chocolate. I loved the time when I could sing songs in front of my sister’s classmates without even knowing who they were or what I was singing.

But things changed soon. As I grew up I got more reserved. I wanted me to be a man. I wanted to do things I was good at. I did not want to make a fool of myself in front of my classmates. I was getting self-conscious.

Now I was not doing things that gave me pleasure. My inhibitions were showing. I was suppressing myself. I was a slave to my self defined limitations.

This year, in a serious pursuit of finding my long lost happiness I started doing some soul searching. I realized I was shy to sing or dance in public. I wanted to break the shackles, I had tied myself to. After pondering for sometime I figured I had withdrawn because I did not want to accept that I was bad at singing and dancing. So I had stopped singing and dancing.

I slowly started humming the songs along with the songs played on radio not concerned about if others would be troubled by my braying. I began to realize that almost everybody had the same problem. I had closure because I accepted my shortcomings and was working on my inhibitions.

I became an active member of clubs which deal with public speaking , long distance running and theatre. I used to take dancing lessons. I have come in touch with my inner child. The feeling of “catharsis” (the release or purging of unwanted emotions) is overwhelming.

Now I dance my little Michael Jackson moves. I jump over puddles of water. I sing my John Lennon numbers. I am not worried to stand in front an audience and bore the hell out of them.

In case if you have any inhibitions, break the shackles by getting in touch with the child within you. It’s a therapeutic to have the heart of a 10 year old again.

Stolen lives

The newspaper headlines read “A 27 year old woman raped by 7 city taxi drivers in Bangalore University in front of her two children”. I felt pity, shame, anger, rage, helplessness as I read through the headline. I have a numb feeling in my heart which seems to have intensified since I read the article.

I can’t seem to think of the mental agony & anguish that the woman and her children have gone through, are going through and will go through. The scar left behind in the minds of these three innocent victims seems to be everybody’s worst nightmare.

Here are few of the many dimensions that flashed through my mind as I read the headline.

1. Someone being sexually molested is one of the most heinous crimes that can be committed against any individual, because the mental trauma suffered by the victim lasts forever and longer.
2. To see your own mother lose her sanctity, you must be the most cursed offspring. It is beyond my comprehension to even understand what must be going on in those tender minds.
3. With lot of difficulty I can somehow come to terms with the fact that one man can be overcome by his hormones. But what defies all logic how all the 7 opportunists could lose their commonsense.

Men are defined to be strong willed with iron determination. But this seems to be contradicted with examples like the one above. Some of the soul shaking tales are

• A 3 year old girl being raped by her own father.

• A pregnant woman raped in front of her husband at knife point.

It seems very obvious that no one is safe from the incorrigible lust of man. I think these incidents are fuelled by the fact that our punishments are not effective enough to discourage such acts of brutality. If I had the power to change the punishment awarded to rapists I would

• Make a distinct pockmark on the face of such criminals. So that every one knows that this man is a rapist and can be treated so.
• His privates made unusable. This would make everybody think a 100 times if they want a couple of minutes of pleasure or no pleasure for the rest of their lives.

I guess no amount of money or moral support is going to help them. The only thing that would help them little would be world class counseling. My prayers are with the lady and her two kids along with the 3 year old mentioned.