My yearning

I’ve see people jumping in joy. It’s natural that they jump in joy because they have achieved what they’ve dreamt of.

I want to do that too. But unfortunately I don’t experience such highs at all. You must be thinking “He does not get to his goals, so he does not jump in joy”. Then I must be crying or feeling sad, which I am not either. I tend to be in a band of good spirits, not too happy or not too sad.

I dream about achieving something. Just as I realize I am going to get to my goal I raise the bar for myself. And I am motivated and start aspiring to reach the next goal.

For example, for a fortnight in May all I could think was to finish the 21km half marathon. I practiced religiously everyday during that fortnight. And on the race day I was amazed by the fact, I was able to run so comfortably. It was as simple as walking for me. And 21km seemed so achievable. Couple of kilometers before the finish line I thought I should have been doing the 42 km full marathon instead. Then and there I set my goal of 42 km for the next marathon. And I started making a schedule mentally to achieve it. And now I am working towards it

This happens all the time. Am I too over-ambitious? Or am I outright stupid? Is this normal behavior? I want to experience extreme happiness at least once.