Dileep Mouleesha

Beauty of Statistics.

2008-11-02T01:24:00.000-07:00

I always knew that statistics is a beautiful art where you can slice and dice data the way you want to project it. But Hans Rosling mesmerized at TED while enlightening the following 3 aspects -

Statistics is not properly available.
Concept of Industrialized and third world countries are wrong.
Animated graphics can make a difference.

This is the most stunning data visualization I have ever seen. But then you have to see this presentation with a pinch of salt. He says that Asians are getting richer and moving out of poverty in the last 3 decades. He has not kept in mind due to inflation etc he has to move the poverty line as well. And all the data presented is in the logarithmic scale.

All said and done we can find faults in anybody's explanation but then the biggest take away was that Hans did not speak about what is right what is wrong; he justified what he thinks is right and what is wrong. And the icing on the cake is the stunning presentation and graphics.

Rating - 10 / 10.

On a oneway lane called life

2008-09-08T02:16:00.001-07:00

I believed that priorities in life, Health, Career and Family, were cyclical. I was in top physical shape, running marathons for fun on weekends. Family was happy as I had recently relocated back to Bangalore. I figured I was in a new job and needed atmost attention.

Started my job as an underdog, I worked like as if I was possessed and in under a year I got an out of turn promotion. Along with I got a bonus of 40 Pounds. Not in currency, but in weight. Thanks to my misconception that the spoon was a shovel. Also, family was getting increasingly uncomfortable with my prolonged absence.

On a much needed vacation our tour guide took us on a treacherous cave-crawl at the end of it we reached a small room. He said this is where the sage is used to meditate and this where he practiced yoga. That’s when it dawned, that those folks who were so busy meditating, without time to shave but made time for physical fitness. It was time for me to act.

Wearing clothes for plus sized people & spending loads of time at home, I have learnt that the priorities in life are not cyclical. Health, Career and Family are 3 parallel threads which need to be catered to independently. And each of them is like an end point of a cob web, if anyone is not taken care of the whole thing snaps!

Gone Baby Gone

2008-06-01T07:01:00.000-07:00

One lazy Sunday afternoon, when both profession and academic were at logger heads, confused; I randomly decided to watch this movie titled “Gone Baby Gone”.

The reason I decided to watch the movie was not because this was a directorial debut by Ben Affleck, but it some how related to the missed opportunities I sensed and could relate to the title. But then the movie hit me and hit me hard. The crime drama like a house is built by brick by brick of information. Amazing acting and cinematography. The music equally blends into background complimenting to the suspense generated by the strong story line.

The movie speaks about how everyone wants the truth... until they find it. And once you have the truth; you have the pleasure of finding it & nobody knows what to do with it.

An exceptional movie. A masterpiece!

2008-05-03T11:23:00.000-07:00

It was love at first sight.... for me...

Numbers Numbers Numbers...

2008-05-01T10:38:00.000-07:00

Infinity, Pi, Million, Zero...

Why are we all obsessed with numbers? What is your age? How many years of work experience do you have? How much salary do you make? What is the stock price of your company? What is your bank balance? What is your weight? Noticed the hit counter on web pages?

Ever wondered, data can be misrepresented so easily. Have you thought how prior years of experience is so important for a new job but never in a budding relationship? This is dangerous... I sometimes think life would have been so much simpler without numbers.

Exercise till you feel good (no weight i need to worry about) go to work what ever time (see there are no numbers like 9 o'clock), work till you are satisfied, buy what you fancy (you need not worry about inflation), drink till you drop dead (nobody is counting the pegs). Lovely. Seems like heaven to me.

And I bet there would somebody from the other side who would say "Hey! We need numbers for routine, markets, normalcy, sanity ..." I think the only numbers we need are dance numbers. Period.

What do you think?

Type A?

2007-11-11T02:00:00.000-08:00

You Have A Type A Personality

You are hyper, energetic, and always on the mood
You tend to succeed at everything you attempt
And if you don't succeed at first, you quickly climb your way to the top!

You could be called a workaholic, but you also make time for fun
As long as it's high energy and competitive, you're interested
You have the perfect personality for business and athletic success

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

2007-05-10T10:14:00.000-07:00

Getting driven home,

listening to soothing music,

after seeing long lost friends,

with the thoughts of loved ones,

reading some scintillating poetry,

and the most beautiful weather to intoxicate me.

This would have been as close to paradise I could be, a week back.

It only hurts when I laugh.

2007-03-20T00:43:00.000-07:00

25 years of existence.

Unlimited dreams.

Limited efforts.

Half contented life.

My Utopia is always just an arm length away.

Every time I laugh in abandon it hurts, aware that I need to working instead of letting go.

adieu

2007-03-09T05:24:00.000-08:00

I am sitting at my office desk, probably writing my last blog from this place which gave me so much room to learn and explore. Yet I want to let go, to reach higher ground. I feel selfish and ego-centric.

My inner-voice tells me I am not an altruist, I cannot work selling my soul; doing something which maybe is my forte but is not my passion.

I feel all alone. But I live in hope.

Emotion Express

2006-12-04T05:38:00.000-08:00

I, like most people, exhibit the basic emotions; Joy, Sadness, Anger, Love, Fear, Shame and Surprise. But how am I different from the rest? What makes me unique? What defines me?

It is said control of these emotions is achieved by controlling the thought that cause them. Thoughts that cause these emotions and how a person reacts to these emotions is categorized as:

1. Desire is the measure of your intent to be the best or to do your best.
- Those with low desire express an “I don’t care” attitude.
- Those with high levels of desire are perfectionist. Since they set goals that are not attainable, they live in constant anxiety.
- I am a perfectionist. My goals (most say it is almost unattainable) is a must reach. Would have shared my dreams with you. But I have promised myself this write up would not be a humorous one.

2. Assertiveness is the measure of the extent to which you believe you can influence the outcome of what you do.
- Those with low assertiveness are easily intimidated. They feel inadequate when someone else succeeds at their expense and tend to support the underdogs.
- Those with high assertiveness are known as killers. They see participation as savage battle rather than an enjoyable challenge, used to protect low self esteem and fear of being humiliated.
- I believe everything I do depends 99.999% on my capability and 0.001% on natural tendency. I believe in human ability and leaving nothing to destiny. God does not exist in my world.

3. Sensitivity is the ability to enjoy without becoming overly distributed at the outcome.
- Those with low sensitivity are known as stonewallers. Nothing can change how they can respond to any situation.
- The super-sensitive respond inappropriately and consider each failure, however slight, as a personal affront.
- I enjoy the journey more than the outcome. The outcome always is ensued by an ambition to reach the next goal. That way my pleasure meter never hits maximum.

4. Tension control is the measure of your ability to remain calm and focused under stress.
- Those with poor tension controls are nervous wrecks. They are unable to control their physical responses to stresses.
- Those with excellent control are known as icebergs. It prevents from taking risks, from enjoying participation or undertaking efforts from improving.
- Could call me an iceberg. Nothing changes my frame of mind. A couple of things have devastated me. Because I never thought that outcome was a possibility. Give me a break.

5. Confidence is the measure of your belief in your ability.
- Those with little confidence are insecure.
- Those with too much confidence are cocky. People are cocky either they use bravado to cover an inner lack of confidence or because they believe they are truly talented.
- Deep inside I fret failure. I live castle of cards built in thin air. So I never let pessimism creep in. And this makes a few people may call me an eternal optimist.

6. Personal accountability is the measure of the extent to which a person extends personal responsibility for his actions.
- Those with low personal accountability tend to hide behind alibis.
- Those with high personal accountability, like perfectionists, feel guilty for everything except a perfect result.
- I need a perfect result. If not, to prevent pessimism setting in I take cover behind an alibi to prove to myself and others that I can do what I set out to do.

7. Self-discipline is the measure of your willingness to develop and persist with a personal game plan.
- Those with low self-discipline are known as the chaotics since they are unable to stick with any plan.
- Those with high self-discipline are known as the lemmings since their mental rigidity prevents them from changing their plans.
- Self-discipline is not upto the mark I should be having. Soda water enthusiasm is what I have. Fizzles out near the fag end. "Burn-out close to the pinnacle" is what I would like to call it.

But as the picture shows, Joy, Sadness, Anger, Love, Fear, Shame and Surprise, no matter what you will always find me smiling. Do you think I need to change?

Down Memory Lane

2006-11-09T05:19:00.000-08:00

“Dileep, it’s like this only as you get old” consoled my mother. “Ma, is 25 an age to say old?” I quizzed and erupted “It must be an injury I am carrying from last week’s run. I am healthy like a horse!”

Sitting at my desk, on a mundane Thursday afternoon I am reflecting on what my mother said. 25 years has been a pleasant journey. I guess I am at a point where I am officially allowed to quip “Those were the good old days.”

But when really did these “good old days” begin?

My first recollection of life is: me wearing a blue Tees and shorts (from which my thighs were bulging out to get a breath of fresh air); standing in front of a lady who was asking me what my name was repeatedly and I was standing blank as a white board as if I had seen a ghost. I vividly remember her sitting on a wooden stool and asking me one last time “Deepu, what is your name?” I was being interviewed to be admitted to my alma mater. Don’t know how I managed to clear the interview without opening my mouth, but I did.

Or hey! Was it when I was running behind my pet dog in the garden and it for no rhyme nor reason turned around started chasing me. I conceded defeat real soon, when she plunged, nailed me on the lawn and licked me while I endlessly giggled. That evening Jimmy and I smelt the same. I don’t remember the horror in my mother’s eyes when she saw me but I bet that would have been a sight to treasure.

Wait! Or was it when my mum took me to the Puja room and urged biting her teeth “Dileep, don’t lie. You are no longer a child. You are a big boy and are 5 years old now. God keeps track of everything you do and writes in a book all the wrong deeds you did after you became Five.” That is the first time I think I was scared, but I am sure I must have lied that the chalks were broken before I took them.

Whichever was the first incident, it doesn’t really matter I guess. But boy! Those were the good old days.

Howz this for an answer?

2006-11-01T03:50:00.000-08:00

Like most, I discovered running quite by accident. Like most runners, I too am not designed for running.

My very first long distance run, in Jan 2005, I experienced for the first time a mind free-of-thought (maybe like the ones mentioned as in the culmination of meditation), what may be called as the runners high. Adding kilometer to kilometer I finally trained and finished a marathon. Many people ask me what have I achieved from this self-inflicted pain other than a certificate and a medal. This is my answer to them (with definite help from Tim Noakes):

From wanting to be surrounded by people, I have begun to love solitude and privacy. Even when running with fellow runners there comes a time when fatigue drives us back into ourselves. It’s only in those secluded times that we discover what we are made of.

Running has made me aware of my body and of my responsibility to take care of it. Having physically improved, it has also improved self-pride and not to forget self-discipline.

Having completed this severe running challenge it has given me the confidence that within my own limits; I could achieve whatever physical or academic target I set myself, only as long as I am prepared to make the necessary effort. I have learnt that rewards in running, as in life, come only in direct proportion to the amount of effort I am willing to exert, and the extent to which I can summon the required discipline.

Also, running has taught me a heightened degree of self-criticism and self-expectation. I realize that it is never possible to reach one’s absolute best, to reach the pinnacle of absolute perfection. Beyond each academic or sporting peak there will always, must always, be another peak waiting to be tackled.

It is while running that I have learnt to live with every day hassles. I have learnt to use running for relaxation and creativity.

Working on everything is essential, be it running or relationships. As Arthur Newton felt “You must never stay put at any stage; either you advance or slip back”

Running has taught me the humility to realize my limitations and to accept them with pride, without envy of those who might have physical or intellectual gifts that I lack.

To achieve any real success, academic or physical, there must be a fear of failure: a very real fear that the day will come when we will fail, regardless of how much we have prepared. It is this very insecurity that keeps our self-confidence from becoming arrogant.

It has taught me honesty. There is no luck. Results cannot be faked, there is no one but yourself to blame when things go wrong.

I have learnt that Life, like running, has to be lived as a competition with oneself. Like Peter Pollock once said: “You have not lived until you have fought a battle that is not against an opponent, but against yourself.”

Being a teetotaler many friends ridicule me; every man should have an addiction and ask what my addiction is? Now I say, “Yes, I am an addict too. Addicted to running”.

Ten ways I celebrate life.

2006-10-21T02:41:00.000-07:00

Go on a long run in the woods.

Read a nice book snuggled in bed.

Cycle into the sunset.

Smell early morning dew.

Listen to music.

Eat desserts.

Have an (intelligent) conversation.

Play a game of tennis.

Inspiring someone to work harder.

Knowing I had a productive day.

I

2006-09-30T20:31:00.000-07:00

I am thinking about...
the present... if i am making the right choices...

I said...
i hate lies... i mean every word of it...

I want to...
be satisfied... nothing satisfies me... there is always scope for improvement...

I wish...
i had made better use of time in my earlier days... played more...

I hear that...
endurance running is bad for the body... yet i run like crazy...

I wonder..
what is the purpose of my life...

I am...
cynical…yet i get hurt…

I dance...
for lesser than a second when i think i will be super-duper-happy...

I regret...
not being able to keep every one happy...

I sing...
only in my head... and always "nothing else matters" by metallica.. its my anthem...

I cry...
occasionally... last time i cried was while reading the kite runner...

I am not always...
as optimistic as i look/behave...

I make with my hands...
more trouble... than I can get out of...

I write...
while introspecting...

I confuse…
obsession with dreams...

I need...
to be pampered...

Blur

2006-09-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

It has been long since I scribbled anything. Any occasion to pen my thoughts and realize what I actually feel was curbed by instincts to protect myself from the pain I would inflict on myself.

Here I am writing without a purpose. Yet my subconscious reminding me that I need to be an optimist and the least amount of pessimism in the tirade of optimism is like a drop of poison in a copious meal.

Is it a crime to bask in the sun, after applying sunscreen? It is just my defense mechanism.

Fitness for busy people.

2006-09-05T10:34:00.000-07:00

5BX Plan for men download
XBX Plan for woment download

The Kite Runner

2006-09-04T06:52:00.000-07:00

“You are reading Kite Runner! Keep a box of tissues with you.” exclaimed my friend.

One of the books I loved and recommend to everyone nowadays is authored by a 40-year Afghan Doctor, Khaled Hosseini, now settled in the US. The book speaks about Amir and Hassan, childhood friends in beautiful and peaceful pre-soviet Afghanistan and life as they grow up.

The author amalgamates his memories of his motherland and the nostalgia of his childhood friendships in this 336 page marvel. In this Amir runs away from responsibility because he did not have courage to standup for his friend. Instead like a coward he distances himself from his friend.

The story is beautifully intertwined. There is so much joy in reading this book, because the author uses words from urdu to increase the impact. And increase impact it does, like you living in Afghanistan yourself. This book is all about fighting the ghost of the past, those open wounds you try to escape from.

Housseini stuck a personal chord with me. And the ghost of my past caught up with me, curled up with me, along with the sorrow of Amir, I ached too. There was a constant use of the box of tissues, from cry of pain to tears of joy; this book takes you through a gamut of emotions. It also checks your justification for your redemption.

Undoubtedly a book is a man’s best friend and his worst enemy. Trust me, this book does quite a bit of soul stirring. The Kite Runner is a must-must-read.

Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Freakonomics

2006-09-03T01:40:00.000-07:00

My mother is an economist and not for once during my education did I ever think of being one myself. It is only of late that I have been drawn to economics, a social science seeking to analyze and describe the production, distribution, and consumption of goods and services.

When I saw the title “Freakonomics” and it read a best seller. It was an impulsive buy and I journeyed two evenings with a rouge economist who tried to explore the hidden side of every thing.

The book follows no unifying theme and has 6 chapters, ranging from the relation of crime and abortion; to questions like which is more dangerous, a gun or a swimming pool? Though these may shock you off your wits because this is not what economists do. But the author calls himself a rogue economist, so I cannot complain.

If you skip the introduction, Freakonomics is a brilliant read and you will wonder if you are looking at data the right way. Levitt does not show any humility in the 242 page book and blows his own trumpet all through the book. Why would he not, he received his B.A. from Harvard University and his Ph.D. from M.I.T.

Rating: 2.5 / 5

Indira Gandhi: The story of a leader

2006-09-01T22:29:00.000-07:00

On a travel, that was expected to be short and bumpy, I wanted to read a small book with big prints. The first book that caught my attention was a 129 page book titled “Indira Gandhi: The story of a leader”. Just having heard of terms like Emergency and Operation Blue Star, I took the book without a second thought in my mind.

The author Shahana Dasgupta, previously unheard of, made an instant mark by the way she presented the subject. Presently living in Berlin, and graduated from Ann Arbor, Michigan this was her first work I was reading. She tells the story of Indira Gandhi through the eyes of a 13 year old, Priya, who was asked to work on a school project “The women of India”.

The book is a breezer and gets over quickly. Though initially I thought the author would treat our late-prime-minister as a demigod. The author has researched on the subject very well and has given the sequence of events which are a brief and concise. And blames her for which the author thinks she was not right.

Reading the names of her other titles, initially she passes of as a feminist, atleast she did to me. In the book she does speak of her subject in equal light and gives the feeling that she wants to present the iron-character of Indian women.

Though the book did not elaborate on Emergency or Operation Blue Star, it’s a worth read; to see how a shy and tongue-tied-Indira transformed into a bold and powerful leader. Now I think those subjects could be books in themselves and would have been out of context especially when the story has been narrated through the voice of a 13 year old girl.

My Rating: 3.5 / 5

If you want to more about Operation Blue Star: Watch Amu.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

2006-09-01T03:52:00.000-07:00

I started to read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which was gifted to me by a dear friend, with a lot of skepticism if I would like it. Even the beginning was without any amusement or something that tickled my rib. But i would be proved wrong.

The story, a science fiction / comedy, revolves around 2 characters Aurthur Dent and Ford Prefect. Arthur Dent wakes up to find his house is about to be knocked down to build a road. His friend, Ford Prefect, takes him to a pub and they both get drunk. Arthur then explains the world is about to end, and, just before a Vogon constructor fleet destroys the Earth, they hitchhike their way off the planet. During their travels through the galaxy, they encounter adventure, adversity, and a diverse array of beings and objects. Also in the book, Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy (with the words DON'T PANIC on the cover) is one of the best humor/scifi books ever in the universe.

The definite high point of the book is the 2 characters they meet aboard a space ship heart of gold: the severely depressed Marvin the Paranoid Android, and a computer with an attitude. The thing truly amazing about this book is that a fully grown man, Douglas Adams, wrote what we as 6 year olds played with toys and dreamt about. He not only aired it on radio, published it as a novel, made computer games out of it and also made a movie out of it.

Written in high school English and told in 3^rd person, HHGG uses very little technical jargon. So this can be read by anyone as old as me or a girl attending middle school and be teleported to the world of Douglas Adams. Douglas Adams considered a genius in literary circles was a Cambridge Grad, who was also a sought-after lecturer on topics including technology and the environment. He died at the age of 49, while working out in a gym.

Who said you cannot make a living out of fantasies?

Rating 4 / 5.0

The Fountainhead

2006-08-30T07:42:00.000-07:00

Not having been able to fulfill the desire of being an architect, I was always told not to read “The Fountainhead”, because everyone thought I may want to move back to my first love. 6 years after first hearing about the magnum opus and a master’s degree in Computer Science (presently realizing software architectures), I settled down to read the book.

The book that took 7 years to write is primarily the story of Howard Roark and his persona. Published in 1943, it was rejected by 12 publishers stating that it was too intellectual.

I always relate to a certain character in a novel as I read along. In this mesmerizing 700-odd page book written by Ayn Rand, a self taught writer, I followed the character of Peter Keating.

Peter Keating and Howard Roark attend the same prestigious architectural school. Keating graduates at the top of his class (with scornful assistance from Roark). Roark, however, is expelled from the school for refusing to allow the curriculum to dictate how he should create, and refusing to sacrifice effectiveness for the sake of tradition.

Rand magically projects Howard Roark as a paragon of Objectivism. Objectivism, according to Rand, whose claims to be inspired by Aristotle, Happiness is man’s moral purpose of life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity and reason as his only absolute.

This is the only book I have read which portrayed a characters nature and psyche. Every character in the book is truly three dimensional. The story moves ahead in chronological fashion.

Supposed to be her greatest work, it is written in simple yet convincing fashion. I would like to quote a part of a paragraph “The mind is the attribute of the individual. There is no such thing as a collective mind. There is no such thing as a collective thought. An agreement reached by a group of men is only a compromise or an average drawn upon many individual thoughts”.

In the sixty-plus years since it was published, The Fountain head has sold six million copies, and continues to sell about 100,000 copies per year. The book exhorts readers to think big about themselves, build big and earn big.

I took comfort in and related to Keating’s character, though he is not the protagonist, because Roarks exist only in books and people’s imagination. Soon, I got an opportunity to consult for a building. I had not realized how much I had internalized the character of Howard Roark. I had the same uncompromising belief in my own design; unwilling to average out my artistic and personal vision, only to over-power the designs of the professional architect. I think I too have been bit by the Howard Roark syndrome.

Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

I totally recommend the book and is a must read.

REQUIEM FOR THE MOVIES

2006-07-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

A decision has been made. I do not intend to watch any more movies. I occasionally used to watch a movie or two. That too will be more infrequent hence forth. The last three movies watched by me have been more than a waste-of-time and made me feel otherwise very strongly. If I don’t take this extreme step I may end up being an optimistic addict, watching one movie after another in the hope of watching one good movie someday.

Once in a theatre, I accept the limitation to move around. But watching a movie (nowadays) gives me the same helplessness as I would be if I left my life at the mercy of destiny; because I am not only restraining myself physically and mentally but emotionally as well. My imagination is limited only to thoughts of what else could have done with the time I am butchering and wallowing in self pity.

So I have decided to take refuge in books. To analyze them at my own pace; the endless options that lay in the next pages making me the ‘script writer’, to internalize the beauty of words, imagine the sets and the characters as if I am the ‘creative designer’ of my own movie and to give my characters their own life and emotions as a ‘director’ would.

So do let me know when there is a movie in town which will turn my opinion around and I will definitely let you know when there is a good book out there to be experienced.

Prejudice

2006-07-08T23:55:00.000-07:00

Prejudice

To you,

Could be just a word

a preconceived opinion

a mindset

a bias.

But to me, It’s

shattered dreams

snatched opportunity
unnecessary heart ache

grave injustice!

A lesson, an eye opener

on how not to live life

to see both sides of the coin

to give everyone and everything

A FAIR CHANCE.

A humble request
nourish your soul

free yourself of prejudice
and dense mindsets

will ya?

Land of Indians

2006-07-02T05:32:00.000-07:00

India, earlier known as Hindu-stan (land of Hindus), has been a rich county both economically and culturally. From Ancient times, the community in India has been divided into 4 major sections. The 4 layered social order (aka caste) according to precedence is given below:
1. The Brahmins -- those engaged in sacrifices, and priestly functions
2. The Kshtriyas -- Rulers and warriors
3. The Vaishyas -- Merchants, farmers, and tradesmen
4. The Shudras -- Laborers, craftsmen, service professions

The caste system began with the arrival of the Aryans in India. Since then the classification was so strong the people from one strata would not take up the responsibility of another. The non-allegiance of Vaishyas to assist Kshatriyas is suspected to be the sole reason for the defeat of India to the hands of Alexander, the Great.

Once India freed herself from the British rule, the government wanted to avoid being a capitalist or socialist economy but at the same time being a secular country. On the contrary, due the complex social development and prevailing conditions of post-independent India, the caste system has morphed, and even developed. Every Indian knows about her own caste as well as the caste of his acquaintances. Caste was a deciding factor in decisions involving marriage, job opportunities, and religious sacraments.

In today’s economy there is only place for merit. Darwin’s theory of “survival of the fittest” is far more accurate in this situation than anywhere else or anytime else. The reality of caste seems to be a myth inspite of the motive of political parties using Caste and Social Strata to give themselves political mileage.

Like the way any organization aligns itself to the changing dynamic market, India too has altered and transformed her customs and beliefs to retain its affluence both in economy and culture. Perhaps it is accurate to say caste system is on the decline rather than saying undergoing radical transformation. India has become a “Land of Indians” in the truest sense.

To Sharan, with love.

2006-06-20T05:28:00.000-07:00

Sharan, tomorrow you are going to be 2 months young. This is my last resort to speak with you. I want you to read it when you learn to. All my past attempts have been in vain. Either you are busy with breakfast, lunch or dinner or you are smiling in your dreams, and I do not feel like waking up the little angel in his cradle.

As time progresses you will realize that you are born to the most charming and loving parents you could have bargained for (though they promise me today that what ever you wear or carry will be bought specifically for you, but the experience of being the second child makes me believe in inheritance), you have grandparents who will pamper beyond the definitions of pampering.

And you will also realize that you have an insane-uncle who cannot make out the difference between magenta and mauve for nuts, but yet wants to describe the world to you with his limited writing skills. If you have read this far you might have also realized I did write to discard my worldly wisdom to you. Here you go!

As you start wearing clothes bigger than baby size and start to think for yourself, you would want to do a whole bunch of things which may not be taken very well by your parents and their parents. You can bank on me; I will always support you in each and every endeavor as long as you are willing to ache, bruise and toil and accept the consequences like a man. This will make your self a man of not bookish knowledge, but first-hand-experience because sound judgment comes from experience good or bad. I will work with you to make your every dream a reality.

Welcome to this world where your dreams and aspirations should become your religion!

PS: When you are reading this if your name is not Sharan, the men of the family lost the battle in naming you. It would have been an experience nonetheless.

Da Vinci Code -- Movie Review

2006-06-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

“Ron Howard was making another movie!” That was good enough to get me excited. Master pieces like Apollo13, Ransom and a Beautiful mind made by this genius. And this time it was an adaptation of Dan Brown’s controversial novel “The Da Vinci Code” made it the most electrifying movie to watch this monsoon.

The 2 hour 29 minute Action/Adventure/Thriller though with a brilliant star cast lead by Tom-Hanks (of Cast Away and Forrest Gump fame) and Audrey Tautou (of Emilie fame) give an ordinary performance.

Akiva Goldsman, the script writer for the movie tries to cram every single detail of the novel in the movie; making it a long wait to the finish and difficult to comprehend for the viewer esp for ones who has not read the book. Thus proving the popular belief that the screenplays for adaptations if written by the author (like Mario Puzo for GodFather, the movie), keep the true essence of the novel alive.

The Dolby/Digital effect would have been an added attraction if the music was catchy and appealing. The sale of the music as ring-tones for mobile phones does not seem to do any good for Sony, the production house.

The cinematography and the direction give the feeling that the movie is based on fiction rather than a true story. The biggest letdown is the deviation of the ending in the movie from the gripping novel. The suspense and the drama created by book surpass the one created in the movie. Thus also proving that reading a book is any day better than any movie or stage adaptation.

Just another editorial

2006-06-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

“A generation awakens”. It now seems like Deja-Vu; as if the movie makers had an intuition of what was to follow – an united India. To keep up the “level playing field” that all companies and visionaries dreamt of, Indians are standing united as ONE agaist the tyrannical and overbearing policies to be passed in the parliament.

This unity is the essence of any great nation and any great organization. Infosys, today has reached the No.1 status only because of the unanimous and undivided belief in the value based system inculcated by Narayan Murthy.

The same unity of vision along with a new hue of consciousness, one based on love is what is driving “Team Anukruti” to present you this newsletter. This edition commemorates and celebrates the spirit of unity.

Also, please give us your valuable comments to make this newsletter a more memorable and enriching experience for you as a reader.

Thank you and Happy Reading!

Team Anukruti

Hail Nature

2006-05-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

“Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you get” – Forrest Gump in Forrest Gump.

Little did Mysore expect to see the vast lush green grass expanse turn white. The hot and sultry Thursday afternoon quickly turned into a cloudy evening. Mysoreans who were expecting a drizzle or a shower were treated to an unexpected hail storm (where pieces of hard, solid ice fall from clouds).

Eleventh May turned out to be more than just a musical produced by the heavens. The thunder and lightning was just a prelude to what was to follow. This slowly turned out to be a symphony which was accompanied by the gusty winds and the hail which came down. But the might of the heavens did not seem to recede and the green spectacle turned swiftly into a white canvas for the heavens to paint. With the sweet smell of the mud becoming evident, the trees danced as if it were inviting all the Infoscions to join them in the celebrations.

The ever-enthusiastic crowd at Infosys who braved to take a stroll under the aegis of their umbrella seemed to have miscalculated the might of the storm. Most enjoyed the rain in total abandon and collected hail. It was a mobile-users delight and most made good of their mobile cameras, while others called their loved ones to tell them their experience.

Though most of us expected the following day to be cool and pleasant; we had to find solace in what Forrest Gump had to say, “Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you get.”

authentic kindness

2006-05-06T02:24:00.000-07:00

In today’s culturally-dishonest world where you are told by your employer to bill for hours you have not worked and pilgrims-cutting-queues in the temple to get an early glimpse of god; a simple act of kindness touches your inner-conscience.

I visited my alma-mater after eight years; every one of those teachers present welcomed me like a mother would welcome her son who returned home after eight years. As a mother would give the sweets to the apple of her eye when he returned home, one very special teacher saved and offered a chocolate to me. During the initial hesitation, I felt like a ten year old declining the gift but yet wanting it deep inside.

With the little chocolate safely placed in my pocket, this gesture spoke volumes about my teacher, who not only taught me but also help mould my character. I, as a child, was taught to share and eat especially chocolates and ice-cream. But today for once I ate the entire chocolate all by myself because it personified love and kindness bestowed upon me in world where it is in such short supply.

memories of a father: book review

2006-04-25T23:55:00.000-07:00

A book written with pain and tears, memories of a father, deals with the grief, sorrow, ordeal and trauma of losing an innocent son to the hands of tyrannical bureaucracy.

The gullible face of a child on the cover of the book and the simple but powerful title made me want to grab a copy and read. Set during time of Emergency, the arrest of a twenty-something-engineering-student for no fault of his, followed by his sudden disappearance seemed to be a good bait for me to read the book.

A hundred-page-book authored by the victim’s father Prof. Eachara Varier, a retired language professor does a remarkable and commendable job at blending words and emotion to teleport you into his shoes. The reader feels the agony and angst of the author. Translated eloquently from Malyalam by Neelan, the book is published by Asian Human Rights Commission.

A brilliant and a fast paced read, a minor setback would be the listing of many names of friends and culprits (to give credibility to the book) could be a little overwhelming for the reader. The author does an impeccable job of creating and keeping suspense alive from the first page, with the title of the first chapter – ‘a plantain leaf and a bowl of rice kept waiting’, to the last page.

Your heart will bleed for the innocent people who have lost their lives to extrajudicial killings and the personal tragedy faced by near and dear, at the same time giving hope that justice is served and showing the true face of human determination.

The PDF version of the book can be downloaded from here.

Freezing Time

2006-04-18T03:08:00.000-07:00

Well got another request to write another editorial... read on...
Caricatures. A smile on your face is guaranteed when you look at these loaded portraits.

Revisiting them a couple of years later, what do they whisper? It is as if that moment froze in time, with a tinge of humor and wit laced with it. Nostalgia grips you.

Ask any Infoscion who joined as a fresher, what were the most memorable moments in Infosys? Without batting an eyelid the response will be his or her training days.

We, here at Gurukul, just as artist sketches a caricature; try to etch those unforgettable moments from training in total candor with a tinge of sarcasm and humor so as to immortalize time in the words of a trainee; to treasure the moments now and savor them later.

Our efforts have been a direct indication of the motivation conferred by the huge amount of readership and the tremendous support of educators and the management. And each edition is dedicated to all the folks in production who read it to rekindle their memories of training days and to each and every trainee, the sole reason of our being.

Thank you.

Team Gurukul

Losing Steps!!

2006-04-02T01:35:00.000-08:00

Weekends. What would a-twenty-something software engineer do? Get up early in the afternoon. Brunch with total lethargy. Meet up with old friends over coffee. An exorbitant dinner. Crash watching a movie. This was my itinerary too for an unassuming Sunday; until I got a call from a dear friend to attend a classical Indian dance recital.

Unable to either dampen nor weaken my friend’s determination and enthusiasm I agreed to go only if she, a dance exponent herself, explained to me the subtleties of the all the dance movements presented, somewhat like an art-appreciation-crash-course. Because I had promised myself I would not attend anymore dance recitals; after I had dozed off in total boredom years before, only to wake for the thunderous applause at the end of the recital.

As the showdown to the recital fast approached many thoughts lingered in my head. Why do people dedicate their lives to this discipline? What is the joy unleashed in a dance performance to the performers and the audience. How is that I cannot understand what gave my grandparents and their generation such happiness and thrill? As informed, I reached the venue ahead of time which was charged and bustling with activity. I just sat seeing populace, including foreigners, poring in, later only to go back home due to the shortage of space. Not for once had I imagined it would be a houseful performance.

My mentor for the evening told me the first item was one where the dancer plucks flowers and offers them to god. All I could see was the dancer turning around and around making expressions of anger, happiness, disgust, angst and bliss. With total enthusiasm I was explained the reason and meaning of every movement, I could see a beautiful movie being aired in front of me. All this was done without the backdrop of expensive sets, just with the creativity of the choreographer and talent of the performer. This tapped a region in my brain, where I could visualize the entire story with various characters accomplished by just one performer. At the end of the three hour recital I was left in total awe and appreciation for Indian classical dance.

It is said that the affluence of a society is identified by the way it treats its artists. Today we are the beholders of great affluence, but without the knowledge of art. It is time we make an attempt to explore art and keep our tradition alive and for a more selfish reason that we are losing out on something so enchanting and captivating.

In memory of a stranger

2006-03-27T21:59:00.000-08:00

I fear death. I avoid the thought of death. The murmurs of death always bring a certain amount of closeness. I want to be with the people I love, I want to spend time with the material things I possess, I want to get away from the things that disturb me, I want to be in tranquility with the basic elements that give me solace.

I know I cannot escape the death of life, the death of relationships, the death of profession, the death of dreams, the death of hope. No amount of literature telling death is God’s touch of honor or the gateway to eternity has ever made me comfortable with the concept of this fatality.

The distress is not one of loss or pain but one of emptiness; it is one of not being able to understand life’s fundamental purpose. Why are we here? Is it material pursuits? Money? Love? Fame?

But, every news of death reminds me that I am living on borrowed time.

Khalil Gibran – Author Profile

2006-03-26T05:54:00.000-08:00

Gibran Khalil Gibran, was born in Bsharri in Lebanon in 1883. Being laden with poverty, he did not receive any formal education or learning. He immigrated with his mother to the USA when he was 12 years old. He lived in Boston for two years. In Boston he met the photographer Fred Holland Day who befriended young Khalil and had a significant artistic and intellectual impact of him.

At the age of 14, Khalil returned to Lebanon attending al-Hikmah high school in Beirut, where he pursued a reformist Arabic curriculum. He also studies religion and ethics.

At the age of 19, Khalil Gibran returned to Boston where he met Mary Haskell, an American school headmistress who supported promising young orphans. Having no formal education, he was placed in an ungraded class reserved for immigrant children, who had to learn English from scratch. It is owing to Mary that he was able to devote himself to his painting.

In 1905, at the age of 22, Gibran publishes a slight collection of essays at the al-Muhajir Press, on "Music." Encouraged by the director of the al-Muhajir newspaper, Gibran begins publishing the prose poems that will later be collected into Arabic books such as "A Tear and a Smile" and "Storms".

In 1906, Gibran published “Spirit Brides” in New York in Arabic and two years later Gibran published a second book of short stories in Arabic, "Spirits Rebellious". At 25 years of age, Gibran began his two-year stay in Paris, paid for by Mary Haskell, where he studied painting and was influenced by the reigning school of Symbolism.

In 1914, the Arabic collection of his newspaper prose poems, "A Tear and a Smile," was published in New York. Also his paintings were exhibited at Montross Gallery on Fifth Avenue; a rare success, since most galleries resisted Gibran's work on grounds of its excessive nudity and modernism.

In 1923 appeared his famous "THE PROPHET ", a book of 26 poetic essays, which has been translated into over 20 languages. The Prophet, who has lived in a foreign city for over 12 years, is about to board a ship that will take him home. He is stopped by a group of people, to whom he teaches the mysteries of life.

Here is an excerpt of "THE PROPHET" about children:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you,

yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

In 1931 Khalil Gibran died, at the age of 48, in a New York hospital owing to cancer and liver failure (due to excessive drinking to avoid pain).

Crossing the chasm

2006-03-21T07:18:00.000-08:00

The evolution of any technology can be broken down into six distinct stages:

Innovators - This first stage often also referred to as “cutting edge”, meaning new. Any technology that shows high potential but hasn't demonstrated its value or settled down into any kind of consensus fits into this stage which is crowded with innovators, thinkers and venture capitalists.

Early Adopters – This, next stage, is when the technology is identified by business leaders and visionaries. “Early adopters” may win big, or may be stuck with a valuable possession whose upkeep is excessively expensive and may be useless.

Early majority – In “leading edge” a technology that has proven itself in the marketplace but is still new enough that it may be difficult to find knowledgeable personnel to implement or support it.

State of the art - when everyone agrees that a particular technology is the right solution.

Late majority - still useful, still sometimes implemented, but a replacement leading edge technology is readily available. By now this technology has become a tradition.

Laggards - has been superseded by state-of-the-art technology, rarely implemented anymore.

It has been increasingly noticed that the early adopters find it difficult to trust innovators. Initially, innovators may promise services to early adopters; during the course of time, they may run out of steam or may realize that their innovation does not have what it takes. This could leave the early adopter in a catch-22 situation, where he has to pay for a service yet to be rendered by the innovators.

In spite of this situation why are organizations trying to be early adopters? Being an early adopter involves significant risks as well as rewards. For some, it's a necessity rather than a choice, when they find no mature technology to meet their needs. For others, it's a calculated attempt to save gobs of money. For others still, it's a necessary step to leapfrog larger competitors. Since they are the first client the technology develops according to their own requirements rather than tailoring them later.

According to Gordon Moore, the author of the revolutionary management book Crossing the Chasm, the most difficult step is the transition between visionaries (Innovators) and pragmatists (early adopters). This is the chasm that he refers to.

Escrowing source code can be an optimum solution for the software industry to close the chasm described by Moore. Escrow is best known in the context of real estate. Escrow is a legal arrangement; when a home or property changes hands, the seller of the property transfers the property title to the escrow agent. Similarly, the buyer either transfers funds or has a bank transfer mortgage proceeds to the escrow agent. When all conditions of the purchase agreement are met, the escrow agent assigns the property title to the purchaser and distributes the funds to the seller. Nowadays escrow companies are also commonly used in the transfer of higher value properties in relation to person to person auctions (eBay).

On the same lines, the early adopter can deposit money with an escrow agent and the innovators get paid as and when services are released to the early adopter. Since the innovators are hungry and aggressive they would deliver the service. Thus making sure both the vendor and the adopter have a rainbow at end of the horizon.

Promoting Yourself -- a book review

2006-03-20T08:35:00.000-08:00

I walked into the library to renew an autobiography of Nelson Mandela. Little did I imagine I would pick up another book. While browsing through the latest arrivals section, the title “Promoting Yourself” did not appeal to me one bit. The preface read: “Welcome to the career guide for people who hate career guides. You know the books I am talking about: How to Get a Raise in 30 minutes; How to Become a CEO in 30 Days or Less“. I immediately exchanged the autobiography for the paperback.

The books punch line is “52 lessons for getting to the top and staying there.” From the first page to the last, the book does not for once sermonize you on what is to be done and what is not to be done. Infact, it enlightens you about the possible situations that might face which you dread facing or never dreamt of facing. The author, Hal Lancaster – who spent more than 30 years at The Wall Street Journal as a reporter, editor, bureau chief and a columnist, explains the situation using case studies and the various options available to him and the implication of the option the subject chose.

Written in simple English, the 52 lessons gives you an insight into today’s workplace. I believe Promoting Yourself makes the reader street smart by making you think what you would do if you faced a situation like that. It may not be as entertaining as Dilbert, the comic strip; but sure gives you the insight and wisdom to handle common dilemmas faced at work with its own tinge of humor.

Finally, is it a worth read? If I said No, I would be lying!

mission accomplished?

2006-03-15T03:27:00.000-08:00

The last editorial that i would write for my first magazine i worked for; read on

The chime of a gong.

The taste of an apple.

The smell of camphor.

These may seem natural to us. Nothing out of the ordinary. Something very mundane. In most cases, it is not even mentioned. Overseen and neglected, we have just grown accustomed to them and expect it to be like the way it has been.

But for a child who has bequeathed this world of wonder, these insignificant and insipid details form the source of unlimited amazement, astonishment and joy. Since babies cannot speak early on and we are acclimatized and adjusted to the pure bliss and delight the world around us offers; our literature is lacking, without these excitements and exhilarations.

On the other hand, if a child could express in words everything she witnessed and if we could listen to it; all of us would have had a chance to revisit our childhood in full. The feeling of joy, glee and cheerfulness might have rubbed off on us.

Global Education Center has been a brain child and dream of Narayan Murthy. GEC has just celebrated its first birthday. We, at GURUKUL (metaphorically: still toddlers at Infosys) try to bring to you the failures, the disappointments and the achievements, the victories, the triumphs that GEC stumbles on at every barrier, hurdle and opportunity in its most honest form, with the same excitement, exhilaration, innocence and inquisitiveness of a child; so that all can take pride and pleasure in the joy, glee, pain, sorrow, cheerfulness and every other emotion felt at GEC, the child.

Please do not hesitate in giving us your valuable and much needed feedback, as we at Gurukul and GEC are in our learning and habit forming years.

Thank you and happy reading!

Fear Factor

2006-02-25T07:15:00.000-08:00

Shock leads to a sense of urgency. When India's powerful Planning Commission argued the case for opening up the retail sector to foreign investment, it pointed out that China had benefited from the same move. When government officials launched a controversial slum clearance drive earlier this year in Bombay, they said they wanted to make the city more like Shanghai.

This combination of envy and fear seems most intense in the one place where it has the least reason to exist: Bangalore. India's software companies and call centers, after all, have a huge head start on China. Yet, Chinese could start to close this gap in the outsourcing sector once they have mastered English. Consider it a sign of the times that Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao chose to begin his trip to India with a visit to the high-tech haven of Bangalore before traveling to New Delhi to talk politics.

Reformers like to say that our country needs a good crisis every few years. It was only when we nearly ran out of foreign exchange reserves in 1991 that the government realized that it had to start overhauling the economy. Many in Bangalore now worry that there is a new economic crisis looming: China. This fear may well prove to be baseless and in time, China could become a vast new market for Indian software companies. For now, though, Indian businessmen like Narayan Murthy and politicians like Chidambaram are tactically using the Chinese threat to turn up the heat on those who are blocking reform. In a country where politicians and bureaucrats still use shibboleths accumulated over a half-century of socialism to obstruct progress, the word China works like a charm. That's why Wen, perceived as the emissary of an ominous economic rival, does India so much more better than as the head of a friendly trading partner.

Where have all the ribbons gone?

2006-01-31T06:10:00.000-08:00

“I am not HIV positive but my husband is one and has been for over 15 years. When I first met him I did not know the truth, as we continued to build a friendship he eventually was honest with me. I decided that I would marry him anyway; the hardest thing for me is watching my husband commit suicide. He hasn't taken his medication in almost 3 years. Each day the symptoms become more evident that his health is deteriorating. I plead with him, make appointments for him and cry myself to sleep every night.” said Kiesha in an interview, which made me skip a heart beat.

I dread being either in the husband or in the wife’s shoe. From what I have read, the mental and physical trauma is like no other; you can feel your insides becoming weaker by the day. I fear to even wonder how it must be on the receiving end.

This epidemic has reached epic proportions. According to a UN estimate, this year alone some 49 lakh people became newly infected with the virus. Around half of all people who become infected with HIV do so before they are 25 and are killed by AIDS before they are 35. Around 95% of people with HIV/AIDS live in developing nations. That puts us and our country in a high risk category.

I believe we have reached a point where we cannot overlook its devastating effects nor can we veil it under a blanket of ignorance or indifference. Its time to take charge and spread the message.

The red ribbon as a symbol of AIDS awareness was conceived in the spring of 1991, when it just seemed there were a lot more people ready to support action against AIDS than were publicly identified. It is worn by people all year round and particularly around World AIDS Day to demonstrate care and concern about HIV and AIDS, and to remind others of the need for their support and commitment. There is no official red ribbon, and we can make our own very easily - just use some ordinary red ribbon and a safety pin!

Wear the ribbon, Spread the message of Aids Awareness!

Synergy

2005-12-06T04:51:00.000-08:00

I, as a person am very edgy, impatient and restless. I need to engage myself constantly; otherwise I feel that my life is slipping away right in front of my eyes. Not doing anything tires me and over sleeping leaves me with a hangover. I need something that would keep me occupied at all levels; mind, body and soul.

Running long distances has been one of my addictions. My restless mind, edgy soul and impatient body finds some kind of solace when I am sweating it out on the road. Five minutes into the run my heart rate stabilizes and it seems as if I am taking a stroll around the city.

Since I enjoy running so much, I plan to run a marathon shortly. The training demands me to run at least 50 kilometer that is spread over an entire week. Since, I had skipped running an entire week, I planned to compensate it over the weekend. Friday evening, I did a very satisfying 20 kilometer run, the following evening I scampered a 10 kilometer recovery run. That left me with 20 more kilometers short of my schedule. I planned to sweat it out on Monday morning. The goal was to reach my workplace which is 20 kilometer away from home. I thought it would be a cakewalk as I had done several 30 kilometer runs.

I started the run on an overcast and chilly Monday at the crack of dawn. Less than 5 minutes into the run I could feel that my legs did not have the strength, my steps were shorter than they generally have been. I could not raise my knees high enough and was dragging my feet on the ground. I could feel that I was burning calories that I did not have. I wanted to run, I knew I could. But the very thought of abandoning the run was not something I was willing to accept.

So I thought I would complete the run. Running for another couple of minutes I started gasping for breath. I knew I was failing. Humiliated, I thought of giving myself reasons for my inability to run. I thought I would have abandoned the run if I had a cramp in my leg. But there were no cramps. I thought I would have abandoned the run if some one needed help. But there was no one around, let alone anyone needing help.

I carried on scuttling, thinking of the times when I had passed by the same place but with much greater vigor. I thought I would hitch a ride but I felt ashamed because my T-shirt read “Real Hashers Run ON”. If I abandoned the run it would be a disgrace to my club and my club’s T-shirt. The conflict between my mind and my soul became stronger and stronger. My body kept running along the set path. I would run faster when I thought I would complete the run. I would run slower when I thought of giving up.

I was so preoccupied judging the conflict raging in me that I did not realise I had reached office. YES! I had completed the run successfully. And believe it or not I had finished the run faster than my previous best time. All in all it was another satisfying run.

I would be lying if I said that this kind of a conflict had never happened before. I encounter such conflicts every time I run. This is why running has kept me hooked, because it engages my mind, body and soul.

me...inside out

2005-11-29T05:55:00.000-08:00

I generally have a conflict between my heart and head. My heart always wins
I take time to take decisions… (a typical Libran) But once I take decisions I am highly opinionated… I stand by my opinions
I will go that extra mile for my friends and family. There is nothing that comes between me and the ones I care for …
I live by first impressions… and I judge people by the way they way people eat and their shoes… (weird na)
I have an inflated ego… (pass off as a snob or a show off at times because of this) I hate solitude… but love the company of just one other person…
I believe I am the luckiest guy on this planet..
Not doing anything tires me… (this is the line that freaks everybody out.. but its true) I love pushing myself to the limit… and punishing myself
I am a very accommodating person but I loathe people who lie.
I crave to do stuff which people say I can’t achieve.
I am an admirer of beauty and simplicity
I don’t believe in destiny or God… I believe that our lives are ruled by laws of probability (can you believe this?)
I know “Life is Difficult” and I don’t expect it to be a cake walk…
I am a workaholic and I can work the best when I am in pain or when I am hurt…
I am never ever satisfied… kind of a perfectionist…
I hate getting sermonized…
I am very very uncomfortable with complements… but I crave for them…
I hardly ever lose temper but when I do… I am condescending…
I believe small aim is a crime
I am a cleanliness freak
I am not as smart as I pretend to be.
Deep inside I am very scared because I have way too many dreams… that in turn keeps me motivated…
In short, I am the person you would want your worst enemy to spend the rest of his/her life with…

I want to go home!

2005-11-29T04:32:00.000-08:00

Would you not agree that every child when admonished craves for independence; when pampered, yearns for responsibilities; when given pocket money, hungers to make his own money; when given a free ride, pines to drive his own vehicle? Even I too dreamt of the days when I would live the life of an adult.

I reached adulthood faster than I ever imagined; wading my way through broken bones and bruised egos, through joyous days and unforgettable escapades. Before long an opportunity to live by myself came along. I grabbed it with both hands, to know how it would be and to know if I had what it took to live by myself in a different city.

Soon the heroic mission I embarked on seemed to show its true colors. I longed to be with my family, I missed the comfort of my friends, I did not like the food, I craved to be pampered. I missed simple things like the warmth of my nieces’ smile, my pillow, my computer, my music system and all the other things which I felt were too trivial for my existence earlier.

Now, two months into the quest, I detest heading back to my foolish pursuit. I feel like a little toddler being forcibly sent to school. I feel his pain and his trauma of leaving his entire world to go to a place which does not hold much significance. Going to my new home, I feel like I am going to a prison, a world of pretense, where my independence and my joy has been deposited with my landlord. I wail and scream in my head endlessly “I want to go home!”

I guess deep within we all are children, but too haughty to accept it…

Double standards!

2005-11-02T10:18:00.001-08:00

“The truth is, if you asked me to chose between Tour de France and cancer, I would choose cancer. Odd as it sounds, I would rather have the title of cancer survivor than the winner of the tour.” These are the words of the legend Lance Armstrong in his Autobiography: It’s not about the bike: My journey back to life.

For those who do not know who he is, Lance Armstrong is a much bigger superstar and real life hero to the world of cycling than Michael Schumacher is to the world of motor sport. This Olympian won the Tour de France a total of seven times. Tour de France is a grueling 3 week race, said to be the most punishing circuit any human being can undergo. He won it six consecutive times after he battled and prevailed against stage four testicular cancer. He clocked the fastest time ever, just 16 months, after being discharged from hospital as a lump of flesh.

This book is about the human ability to battle against all odds to achieve the difficult, fight the arduous and pass the backbreaking challenges in life. Lance was taught never to quit. He was raised by a single mother, his motivator who told him “If you can’t give 110 percent, you won’t make it.” He gave always his 110% and never quit, he ended up being a tour winner and a cancer survivor.

He fell in love with Lisa who was with him through the diagnosis, treatment and recouping. He wanted to marry her. But immediately after, he left Lisa stating that they had suffered from exhaustion; because of spending too much time together. Later he met, Kristin, an executive from a firm with which his cancer foundation worked. In a couple of months he was married to her. He has dedicated one full chapter of his autobiography describing how their love brought out the best in him.

Even after a long deliberation with myself I don’t think it is a valid enough reason to break up with the person who was with you thorough the toughest times in life. And recent reports states that he broke up with Kristin also and is apparently planning to marry Sheryl Crowe (a famous singer).

I fail to understand the reason for his failures in love life and marriage. I believe that he failed as a boyfriend and husband because he quit without even putting his 100% let alone 110% into his relationships. An individual who had the iron grit to battle cancer does not have the same grit to make a relation work? Is this what heroes are made of -- double standards? Are we supposed to have them for idols?

Remembering Dileep!

2005-10-30T21:18:00.000-08:00

MYSORE – Dileep Mouleesha, aged 24, died unexpectedly, yesterday afternoon at 1500hrs local time. He leaves behind sorrowing parents and a grief-stricken sister.

It is said that an obituary is the best place to write the truth about a dead man. Hence, this write up is a tribute to the inflexible teetotaler who got intoxicated by life itself.

Born to unsuspecting parents in the year of the rooster, he was always racing with time as if he had a premonition that his end was close.

Being the perfectionist he was, he judged himself way too hard. He complained occasionally that he failed to reach his goals. He stopped short of playing professional tennis, gave up 2 levels below a coveted black belt in taekwondo and had a stab at being a movie maker and a photographer.

He defended himself that the basis of his endless talking was to make up for the years he had lost because he started speaking late. Though he was told he had a way with words, more often than ever his words gave way. He used to say that running was the only time when his restless mind could not think of any thing. Thus was obsessed with running and was planning to run the full marathon.

A conservative at heart, he had tasted failure in love and academics and everything that lies between them. He flaunted that he had failed so often that now he was actually took pride in his failures and said it was time for him to succeed.

An eternal optimist, he always sought to try out something new. His wish list reveals that he wanted to work for an NGO, write a book on women’s equality in the modern society, take part in a triathlon and adopt an animal in a zoo among other aspirations.

His passion for intellectual discussions was fuelled by the fact that he loved interpretation more than plain facts. He loved to laugh, brought merriment, excitement, wit, camaraderie and the joy of living.

He was never a believer in the supreme and always displayed his long life line. He always believed you could fight your fate. It is true that god mocks the mocking. In his last days, staying away from home he missed home and now more than ever.

According to his wishes his body would be donated to a hospital for research purposes.
A picture of him wearing denims, blue kurta, sporting a five o clock shadow, standing in front of his car, him arms folded, with a smile on his face will remain fresh in my mind forever. A memorial service will be announced shortly. At least now may his soul rest in peace.

The Iron Curtain

2005-10-25T06:16:00.000-07:00

Reading a book for me is like being a character in a movie. For some outlandish reason I transform into the protagonist of the book. I get so involved that at an interesting point, there is no likelihood for an interval or a break. I visualize sets, props and fellow actors. Sometimes I even hear the sounds that are appropriate to the given scene.

It has been a long standing dream of mine to read a book in the midst of nature. To see lush green grass, with the wind slither across my face. I always thought it would be like watching a movie in an air conditioned movie theatre.

This dream of mine was realized today when I wandered into a cricket stadium for a late evening stroll. Dressed in light clothing, an unexpected downpour forced me to take refuge in the stands of the stadium. The stadium slowly hid herself in the shadows of the night, only to appear momentarily due to the occasional lighting.

I pulled out a book from my bag which I had been reading. The novel was a classic ‘The Godfather’. I settled down in the pavilion which was illuminated by a tube light. The temperature had fallen due to the sudden onset of the cloudburst. I held my limbs closer in an attempt to keep myself warm.

I resumed reading the book from where I had left off. Don Corleone had arranged a meeting with the other mafia bosses to propose peace and the safe passage of his son from Sicily. It is one of the most intense moments of the book, which the author compares to Churchill’s Iron Curtain. I felt like I was standing in the Don’s own shoe and giving the famous speech. The cricket stadium became my board room, the pitch became the discussion table, the pavilion became my podium, the trees became the attendees and the sight and sounds of the lightning seemed like photographs being taken, the breeze gave the impression of attendees discussing among themselves and the rain became the applause. I no longer felt cold instead I felt the authority of the Don.

It was a truly scintillating experience. Who said reading a book is a dull experience?

Overrated but Underused

2005-10-21T05:14:00.000-07:00

This morning when the sun forced me out of my deep slumber, in my dream I was singing this song, walking alone in a dark avenue bordered by empty buildings.

“I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone”

I definitely was in the twilight of broken dreams, but the reality was that the city was awake and I was the only one rubbing my eyes to adjust to the bright light.

Gazing at a bright red poster of yester year on the wall, the words on it appeared screaming “Don’t live on the edge, get over it”, it dawned to me that if I am lucky; I probably have lived half my life. Sadly, I only have the other half to savor and slog.

I was always told that I had the potential to reach the unsurpassable. Other than some sad excuses for success I have nothing much to proclaim greatness. So far things have just happened to me. Now its time to make things happen to me.

Burning Issues

2005-09-09T22:54:00.001-07:00

Spontaneous combustion occurs when an object bursts into flame from a chemical reaction within, apparently without being ignited by an external heat source. Some objects have been scientifically proven to burst into flames without an outside heat source.

92-year-old, Dr. J. Irving Bentley was last seen alive on the evening of December 4th, 1966 by friends visiting to say goodnight at about 9.00pm. The following morning Mr. Gosnell, a meter reader let himself into Mr. Bentley's house to go to the basement to check the meter. Gosnell had permission to enter Dr. Bentley's house because Dr. Bentley had limited mobility and could only move about with the help of a walker. Once in the basement Gosnell could smell a strange odor and then could see a light blue smoke. Worried, he went upstairs to investigate. Dr. Bentley's bedroom was filled with smoke and in the bathroom there lay the charred remains of Dr. Bentley. All that was left of the old man was the lower half of his right leg with his slipper still on it. The rubber stoppers on his walker which lay beside his remains were still intact and the bathtub was hardly scorched. Gosnell ran for help. It was first thought that Dr. Bentley set himself on fire with his pipe, but it was soon discovered that his pipe was still on it's stand by the bed in his bedroom.

Dr. Bentley's case and several hundred others like it have been labeled "spontaneous human combustion" (SHC). Although he and other victims of the phenomenon burned almost completely, their surroundings, and even sometimes their clothes, remained virtually untouched. Over the past 300 years, there have been more than 200 reports of persons burning to a crisp for no apparent reason.

The hundreds of spontaneous human combustion accounts have followed a similar pattern: The victim is almost completely consumed, usually inside his or her home. What makes spontaneous human combustion so peculiar is that the extremities often remain intact. Although the torso and head, including the bones, are charred beyond recognition, the hands, feet, and/or part of the legs may be unburned. Also, the room around the person shows little or no signs of a fire.

Several theories have been formulated. First, spontaneous human combustion is caused by excessive amounts of alcohol in the body. One of the most popular proposes that the fire is sparked when methane builds up in the intestines and is ignited by enzymes. Other theories speculate that the fire begins as a result of a buildup of static electricity inside the body or from an external geomagnetic force exerted on the body. New theories suggested that the phenomenon is the work of a new subatomic particle called a pyroton, interacts with cells to create a mini explosion. As of March 2005, no one has offered a valid scientific proof of a theory explaining spontaneous human combustion.

In August 1999, BBC broadcast in prime time entitled Spontaneous Human Combustion. And more recently in 2005, National Geographic Channel aired a program on SHC.

Skeptics argue there is no such thing as Spontaneous Human Combustion. Fact or Fiction, SHC sure gave me goose bumps.

Flirting with Disaster

2005-09-02T00:05:00.000-07:00

It said 254 million people were affected by natural disasters last year - nearly three times as many as in 1990. "Alarmingly, this is getting worse."

According to the bulk of scientific opinion, the reason is because the world is getting warmer. It is difficult, if not impossible, to prove the causes of this warming, but many scientists are convinced that increasing concentrations of greenhouse gases (GHG) in the atmosphere are to blame.

Some GHG gases like hydro carbons, methane and nitrous oxide are released as by products of certain industrial process which adversely affect the ozone layer, leading to global warming. 60% to 70% of GHG emission is through fuel combustion in industries like cement, steel, textiles and fertilizers.

Kyoto Protocol is a voluntary treaty signed by 141 countries including European Union, Japan and Canada for reducing GHG emission by 5.2% below 1990 levels by 2012. However, the US, which accounts for one-third of the total GHG emission, is yet to ratify the treaty, citing “economic harm” as the reason. The consequences are as heartbreaking as they are terrifying.

The two major countries opposed to the treaty are the USA and Australia, based on the public statements of their governments. In Australia the climate is expected to become significantly warmer: by 2070 the annual average temperature is predicted to increase by 1°C to 6°C over most of Australia. The number of extreme rainfall events – such as those leading to flooding – is also expected to increase, even though most of the country is anticipated to become drier overall in the 21st century.

The hurricane that struck Louisiana and Mississippi was nicknamed Katrina by the National Weather Service. Its real name is global warming. When the year began with a 2-foot snowfall in Los Angeles, the cause was global warming. Katrina formed over the Bahamas in August 2005, made its first landfall, as a Category 1 hurricane. It weakened to a tropical storm as it moved offshore. However, the system regained strength in the warm waters (caused by the GHG) of the Gulf of Mexico, becoming a Category 5 hurricane. Some early predictions in damages exceeded $100 billion.

Isn’t it economic damage enough? How many more such economic damages can a economy handle to ward off the cited “economic harm”. The major responsibility of curbing emission rests with the developed countries, which have accumulated emissions over a long period of time.

AfterGlow..

2005-07-09T03:23:00.000-07:00

I had been with Novell for a year. I was excited to leave Novell in pursuit of my dreams. The opportunities were infinite. There were a zillion things I wanted to achieve. My last day at Novell had finally arrived.

I sent out a parting mail, finished the formalities, met all the people I wanted to and had lunch with people who meant the most to me. Reality kicked in when I was climbing down the flight of stairs to leave office.

I used to run up the stairs, because walking up or waiting for the lift made me impatient. I was always looking forward for work. The spiral stairs covered with black granite was the prelude to my day at Novell.

The harder I worked the more enthusiastic I was to get back to work the next day. My last week at Novell had been very demanding. While getting down the stairs my subconscious seemed to be telling me that I will never be able to get back into that cubicle, which had been my home, my lair, my den ever again.

Emotions took over me. My heart wanted me to go back, my mind was wanted me to see the world of opportunity outside Novell. I did not want to get down the stairs, but the momentum kept me going.

I am still attached to Novell and the people there, but I have miles to go and loads to achieve before I go to sleep.

Stop it GoPee!!

2005-06-26T00:42:00.000-07:00

While commuting in Bangalore, I bet we would see at least one guy attending to his nature’s call. His vehicle parked on the road side, he would be busy leaving his autograph on one of the walls. What is it with men and peeing in public? Lets me call this sorry lot, GoPee(s).

I guess each GoPee believes it is his contribution of essential nutrients to the soil that Bangalore a green city.

Tell me how many of us have not seen a herd of these GoPees doing their national duty?

If you ask any GoPee, I bet his answer would be “It’s like yawning. Yawning is communicable. If one yawns and rest yawn too”.

Like a dog, a GoPee too must be attracted to smell too. More the stink, it’s seems like it is merrier for every passing GoPee to go and pee.

I remember seeing a billboard near a pond, “We don’t swim in your urinals, so please don’t pee in our ponds”. And it has also become common to see walls painted with “Please do not urinate here” signs.

If this public nuisance is not combated, our city will end up being a big restroom. I see two solutions to this problem:

Government initiative: All policemen should be authorized to catch a GoPee charge him Rs.300/- as fine. The money collected as fines should be used to construct and keep clean public pay and use restrooms.
Public initiative: Any ideas?

Come let us keep our city clean.

My yearning

2005-06-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

I’ve see people jumping in joy. It’s natural that they jump in joy because they have achieved what they’ve dreamt of.

I want to do that too. But unfortunately I don’t experience such highs at all. You must be thinking “He does not get to his goals, so he does not jump in joy”. Then I must be crying or feeling sad, which I am not either. I tend to be in a band of good spirits, not too happy or not too sad.

I dream about achieving something. Just as I realize I am going to get to my goal I raise the bar for myself. And I am motivated and start aspiring to reach the next goal.

For example, for a fortnight in May all I could think was to finish the 21km half marathon. I practiced religiously everyday during that fortnight. And on the race day I was amazed by the fact, I was able to run so comfortably. It was as simple as walking for me. And 21km seemed so achievable. Couple of kilometers before the finish line I thought I should have been doing the 42 km full marathon instead. Then and there I set my goal of 42 km for the next marathon. And I started making a schedule mentally to achieve it. And now I am working towards it

This happens all the time. Am I too over-ambitious? Or am I outright stupid? Is this normal behavior? I want to experience extreme happiness at least once.

True Love?

2005-06-22T01:55:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you a story:

Boy meets girls
Falls in love
Marries her

Baby is born

Boy now falls in love with sister-in-law
Sister-in-law’s marriages fixed
Both boy and sister-in-law commit suicide

This is the story of a near famous footballer, who took his team to greater heights.

If he was so successful as a footballer, why did he fail so miserably as a human being.

If he really loved his wife, he would not have cheated on her and prevented himself from doing anything that would hurt her. Or given a scenario he was really in love with his sister-in-law he would not have wanted her to die.

I strongly believe “when you are in love the other person’s happiness means more than your own.”

Also research proves that in the initial stages of a relationship you cannot take sensible decisions. It is because levels of a hormone which causes calming effect falls, as low as the level of a person suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder.

Secondly he had no vision of the future. He probably never did think of what his family would go through. Whose death would his wife mourn; a husband who cheated on her or a sister who snatched her husband away from her? What will the child go through while growing up? What will be the state of his parents?

I strongly believe “Love fails, only when we fail to love”.

Does it not sound like a episode from the bold and the beautiful? Don’t you all think we are getting too westernized?

Let me tell you a “desi” story set in the UK.

Boy meets girl.
Both fall in love.
Boy marries girl.

Girl cannot give birth to a child.

Boy never leaves girl.
Treats her like a princess.
Girl dies after 40 years of marriage.

This is the story of a successful Dr.Mahesh Mirani. Here are a few lines from his personal collection he writes for his beloved wife, 6 years after her death.

I have a silent sorrow
A grief I will never impart
It breathes no sigh
It sheds no tears
But it still consumes my heart

I strongly believe “Love grows as you grow older with your partner”.

This my friends, is true love.

Lending books

2005-06-21T04:57:00.000-07:00

I love to read books. And I can’t seem to stop myself from flaunting about the magnificence of the books I read. For some strange reason with a general enquiry of the book I insist that they should take the book and read it for themselves.

And in almost all cases it so happens that the book starts collecting dust at their place instead of mine. I do not understand my fetish of having my books with myself; I don’t even re-read the books anyway.

Sometimes it so happens I end up giving people calls to ask how far they have gone about reading the book, instead of asking how they are. As if that is not clue enough that I want my book back, they in most cases don’t return it unless explicitly asked for “multiple” times. Sometimes you listen to a dreaded response that they have re-lent the book to someone else.

And when the book is returned it is underlined along with either coffee stains or with rumples due to water, and definitely has dog ears (as my friend affectionately calls it). After the entire circus to get back the book, I don’t feel like the owner of the book.

I am not claiming I am any better either I do the same at times, because of my obsession for books. But I swear I am changing I am returning books one after another, because it is a difficult fixation to get over.

Someone beautifully sums up the ordeal of lending a book, quote “Summer vacation is a time for reading, and my friends come to me to borrow books because I have more than most people. In their limited wisdom, they have no idea of what I go through in lending a book. They don't understand that I think of myself as offering them love, truth, beauty, wisdom. Nor do they suspect that I feel about lending a book the way most fathers feel about their daughters living with a man out of wedlock” unquote

Just chaos ...

2005-06-20T04:40:00.000-07:00

Last night I did witness a practical depiction of random theory during my 30 km travel from Bangalore south to Bangalore north. The opportunity to see randomness is presented to us everyday because of the chaos in traffic.

I could bet my life that there is no mathematical method to find out how the vehicle next to you would move. Any science student will tell you that the traffic follows Brownian movement (continuous zig-zag motion). And a mathematician will tell you that it is an NP Hard problem (Non-deterministic Polynomial-time Hard, where the solution can neither be obtained nor verified in finite time).

I wondered is it a flaw in mathematics and the sciences that we could not find a solution for this randomness and unpredictability? A little thought made me believe that this is a fundamental flaw in our legal system.

It is because of the simple fact that the value of human life is so negligible in our legal system. Let us consider a scenario where one’s fault leads to another’s death, it has to be compensated by him own; would you see anybody breaking the law?

People break the law all the time because it is known that if you run over 2 cops it only costs you only Rs.950/- to get out on bail and it won’t be long before the case is forgotten (Aditya Pancholi). And it costs a paltry sum of Rs.30,000/- to walk scot-free after moving down four people (Puru Rajkumar).

Is this the value of human life? Don’t you also think if our legal system treats the value of human life with a little more dignity it deserves we will see discipline in many areas of concern including traffic mannerism?

Do we really get smarter as we grow older?

2005-06-16T23:06:00.000-07:00

I forced myself not to write about what I am penning now. This has troubled me so much from a couple of days that I just can’t seem to stop myself anymore.

I have always heard that age gives maturity in thought, which helps you take rational and sensible decisions. There is this one incident that will prove every believer wrong.

A 27 year old mother of 5 was raped by her father-in-law. The village panchayat (a council of elders representing a village) and the maulvi (supposed to be a very learned man) took a decision that the lady’s marriage with her husband is annulled because of the bodily congress of her and her father-in-law. Now she is the wife of her father-in-law. And her husband is her son.

Well this is the wildest thing I have ever heard. Does this imply that her own kids are her grandkids? Or are her children and her husband now siblings?

This does not end here. The panchayat along with the maulvi go on and insist that if the father-in-law is arrested, the daughter-in-law too has to be arrested, because it takes two for such an act! What a bunch of idiots.

Though I had heard a song “Dhodavaru ella jaanara alla”(meaning: all elders are not smart) when I was a kid, I believed it was a fun song. But now these buffoons have proved to me wrong.

Attacked !!

2005-06-15T02:21:00.000-07:00

Have you heard fairy tales where the prince wants to reach his palace but the chariot is attacked by the enemy? Similar is the story for a lot of us when we are going on our two wheelers when we are chased by stray dogs.

This has been a regular affair whenever I get back home late. There has not been a single night when I have not been chased by stray dogs. Earlier it used to scare the living day light out of me and I used to speed much faster or completely avoid those roads, just to be chased by a new set of stray dogs.

Now I have realized that the dogs are only as brave as most of us. You stop and stare at them or even scream at them they will run away. But I guess even I would not dare do it all the time.

So what can be done? After 1992, it has become illegal for municipalities to kill stray dogs. A dog farm outside Pune collects the stray dogs and provides shelter and food – a home for them. We need dog farms like these in addition to shelter and food they should also sterilize these dogs. Any dog-lover interested in starting an NGO for the same reason? I wish others would also make an effort in showing a little charity.

Whats does you soul say?

2005-06-14T05:01:00.000-07:00

I just finished making a documentary called “Bangalore: Swalpa Adjust maadi”. The documentary is built around what is called as “the soul of the city”. Now that that the documentary is released, I am wondering what is it that makes my soul what it is.

It undoubtedly has to be eternal optimism. I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door - or I'll make a door.

I know the slop side of it too. When I let lose a bit of my optimism, I feel lost in the spirals of life and get consumed by my own nightmares. So I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and always try to keep looking upward.

HeartFront...

2005-06-01T01:07:00.000-07:00

When I got up in the morning today, little did I know that I would feely gloomy like the weather outside. I was to attend a wedding in the morning, the wedding of a friend from college.

This friend was special. She was my first crush. In spite of my denial that I did not like her one bit, my mind could not think of anything but her during that time. She had the most beautiful smile and was forever bubbly. I would be pushed into a hypnotic spell every time I was around her.

That one year we were together in college, I never had the courage to tell her that she made my heart skip a beat every time I saw her. I let her fade away into the oblivion of my heart.

Not that I wanted something to work between us, I met her years later wanting to tell her that she had a very special place in my heart as she was my first crush. But thanks to the spell she used to cast with her voice and her small antics I could not gather myself to tell her, what she meant to me.

Today when she was standing with her better half on the platform performing her part of the rituals, I felt really happy for her. Because she is betrothed and now married to a really nice guy.

Presently listening to “Lonely” by Akon, I am thinking of all the people whom I let go. I hope I would find my self a companion who would make me feel like the way she used to make me feel.

CrossRoads

2005-05-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through a book called “The road less traveled” by Scott Peck. The very first sentence shook the ground beneath my feet. The sentence contained just 3 words, 3 very powerful words. “Life is difficult.”

So bloody true. Who said life has to be simple? We all want our lives to be perfect. When its not we start cribbing. But what is the fun if we don’t have challenges?

I was wondering what is that makes life difficult? After a little thought I realized that its “choices” is one of the primary reasons that makes life difficult.

When we think our lives are going on smoothly, we hit a cross road. In the first place it is quite difficult to take a decision because all the choices we have in front of us have pros and cons. The perfect option is never there. Like Alanis Morissette says in one of her songs: “It’s like having ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife”.

After careful consideration we take a decision on one choice. Sometimes events happen the exact same way we expect it to and the rest of the times it is a total letdown of our anticipation.

We get upset and start wondering why we never chose the other options which we had discarded. And the next time we are in another crossroad we call it a problem.

If things don’t work out the way we want it to, we still have a “choice”. A choice to either feel sad or to embrace the truth and move on or be happy that we had an enriching experience. We may lose or we may win but we will never be here again. So let us look at what we have in life and be happy; instead of feeling sad, searching for something we don’t have.

2005-05-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

Poster

2005-05-27T08:23:00.000-07:00

PBT

2005-05-27T08:21:00.000-07:00

Half marathon

Visualize your dreams

2005-05-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

I got into playback theatre to improve my non verbal communication. I must confess that it has helped me with more than what I had thought it would. I learnt visualization.

The entire group stands in a circle; each participant holds their neighbor’s right hand in their left hand and places their right hand in the other neighbor’s left hand. With eyes closed and the group visualizes that they are growing as individuals and in the mind count backwards from 100 to 1. Count 1, 2, 3. Then tell to themselves “this is going to happen”. Count 4, 5, 6. “this will happen”.

The first time I saw this I said to myself “What the ….?”. There was a participant who was a veteran of playback theatre who saw me and said “Dude this has worked for us for 4 years. Do it”. I thought there was nothing to lose and let me try.

I closed my eyes. I imagined I was growing as an individual. It felt good inside. I counted backwards (with lot of difficulty, because my mind would wander off). When I said to myself “this is going to happen and this will happen”, there was a burst of energy which was dormant.

After a couple of sessions, other participants said visualization makes them feels lighter, relaxed and it increased their concentration/focus in their work. But I think this is an altered state of consciousness with positive thoughts.

According to research, the use of altered states of consciousness (hypnosis, meditation, sleep programming) can lead to a transformation of nearly every part of your life. Here's how the theory works: First, you must understand that human beings are structures. The structure of your body is composed of bone, muscle, ligaments. Your brain, however, is given structure by the thoughts and memories that dictate your actions. Your mental programming (all your past thoughts, actions, experiences and learning) provides your brain structure.

Research shows that complex structures (such as the human brain) require an enormous and consistent flow of energy to maintain their structure. The up-and-down pattern of brainwave levels reflects a fluctuation of energy to the brain. The larger the brainwave levels, the larger the fluctuation of energy.

When you are fully awake your brainwave levels would show up as small, up-and-down lines and there is little fluctuation in the level of energy. The small fluctuations of energy are suppressed by the brain. They are compact and allow little new programming to enter.

When you alter your state by means of meditation (or with hypnosis, consciousness when you are crossing over into sleep) there is a large fluctuation in the level of energy in your brain level.

Large fluctuations of energy can cause the structure to break apart and reorganize itself into an even more complex and higher form. That's why suggestions given to an individual in such a state is so effective in creating change. It tears apart old programming and creating new behaviors and viewpoints.

I wanted to put this to a test, before the half marathon. There was very little training I had done. I wanted to do it. Visualization made me believe not running the half marathon was not an option. So I practiced every day and finished the half marathon. I started to believe I could do it and I did it.

In this case the cliché is true “When you don’t consider a suggestion – you are rejecting your own potential”. So start visualizing your dreams and achieve it.

Angels do exist.

2005-05-09T02:41:00.000-07:00

Unconditional love. I am lucky to be a recipient of one. It is definitely god sent. The one who showers me with unlimited love is definitely life’s true angel. The one I am talking about is none other than my mother.

She is a home maker and works more than every body else. She pampers and takes care of everybody and everything expecting nothing in return. And I don’t even know how to acknowledge that I am blessed.

She has taken care of me during my first step, first fall, and first day at school through graduation. She has spent sleepless nights attending to my broken legs and bruised ego. It is maybe because of this caring that she lovingly gives and the passion that she shows that her beauty with passing years only grows.

She is my perfect fan. Anything I want becomes her desire too. Any given day for her I always look better than Tom Cruise and nothing I do is wrong. She never says no for anything I ask. No matter what obstacle she faces she is always confident in front of me so that my hopes are always pinned.

She has always been there to listen to my woes, my bragging and my frustration. She sheds more tears in pain than me when she knows I am in pain. And occasionally I hurt her too and add to her tears. I console myself telling that we hurt the people we love the most.

With this setting I can say "I know that angels do exist; without magic wands in their hand, wings on their back and halos over their head".

The way I see future

2005-05-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

Businesses always want to have strategic advantage to out perform their rivals. In present day and age computers and software seems to be that strategic advantage.

In the early 1900’s businesses manufactured products. To succeed in the face of competition from competitors, they wanted to deliver their products faster to the customer. So they located their manufacturing closer to the river or the coast to ship their product. They realized that they could not reach the places not close to any river. So the business which could build its own rail network became very successful.

These businesses saw a very big market for their goods. They wanted to plug the demand supply gaps. Working through the nights was their best option. Since most of the successful businesses were already close to the river they installed water turbines to generate electricity.

Electricity and railways was a tactical advantage for the businesses then. Now we see electricity and railways have become a commonly available infrastructure and they no more provide that strategic advantage.

Similarly computers and software will be come a commonly available infrastructure. The revolution has already begun in the form of Open Source Software. This coupled with the availability of cheap computers make this advantage very short lived.

Get in touch with your inner child.

2005-05-02T08:29:00.000-07:00

I loved the time when I could cry in front of my family after a cartoon character died in an animated movie. I loved the time when I could jump all over the place when I got a chocolate. I loved the time when I could sing songs in front of my sister’s classmates without even knowing who they were or what I was singing.

But things changed soon. As I grew up I got more reserved. I wanted me to be a man. I wanted to do things I was good at. I did not want to make a fool of myself in front of my classmates. I was getting self-conscious.

Now I was not doing things that gave me pleasure. My inhibitions were showing. I was suppressing myself. I was a slave to my self defined limitations.

This year, in a serious pursuit of finding my long lost happiness I started doing some soul searching. I realized I was shy to sing or dance in public. I wanted to break the shackles, I had tied myself to. After pondering for sometime I figured I had withdrawn because I did not want to accept that I was bad at singing and dancing. So I had stopped singing and dancing.

I slowly started humming the songs along with the songs played on radio not concerned about if others would be troubled by my braying. I began to realize that almost everybody had the same problem. I had closure because I accepted my shortcomings and was working on my inhibitions.

I became an active member of clubs which deal with public speaking , long distance running and theatre. I used to take dancing lessons. I have come in touch with my inner child. The feeling of “catharsis” (the release or purging of unwanted emotions) is overwhelming.

Now I dance my little Michael Jackson moves. I jump over puddles of water. I sing my John Lennon numbers. I am not worried to stand in front an audience and bore the hell out of them.

In case if you have any inhibitions, break the shackles by getting in touch with the child within you. It’s a therapeutic to have the heart of a 10 year old again.

Stolen lives

2005-05-01T02:34:00.000-07:00

The newspaper headlines read “A 27 year old woman raped by 7 city taxi drivers in Bangalore University in front of her two children”. I felt pity, shame, anger, rage, helplessness as I read through the headline. I have a numb feeling in my heart which seems to have intensified since I read the article.

I can’t seem to think of the mental agony & anguish that the woman and her children have gone through, are going through and will go through. The scar left behind in the minds of these three innocent victims seems to be everybody’s worst nightmare.

Here are few of the many dimensions that flashed through my mind as I read the headline.

Someone being sexually molested is one of the most heinous crimes that can be committed against any individual, because the mental trauma suffered by the victim lasts forever and longer.
To see your own mother lose her sanctity, you must be the most cursed offspring. It is beyond my comprehension to even understand what must be going on in those tender minds.
With lot of difficulty I can somehow come to terms with the fact that one man can be overcome by his hormones. But what defies all logic how all the 7 opportunists could lose their commonsense.

Men are defined to be strong willed with iron determination. But this seems to be contradicted with examples like the one above. Some of the soul shaking tales are

A 3 year old girl being raped by her own father.

A pregnant woman raped in front of her husband at knife point.

It seems very obvious that no one is safe from the incorrigible lust of man. I think these incidents are fuelled by the fact that our punishments are not effective enough to discourage such acts of brutality. If I had the power to change the punishment awarded to rapists I would

Make a distinct pockmark on the face of such criminals. So that every one knows that this man is a rapist and can be treated so.
His privates made unusable. This would make everybody think a 100 times if they want a couple of minutes of pleasure or no pleasure for the rest of their lives.

I guess no amount of money or moral support is going to help them. The only thing that would help them little would be world class counseling. My prayers are with the lady and her two kids along with the 3 year old mentioned.

Why should we stand & deliver a speech?

2005-04-29T10:30:00.000-07:00

Imagine Hitler in front of 20,000 people in Munich, sitting on a couch with his legs stretched and delivering his speech. What is wrong with this description? Aren’t you pondering “Why isn’t Hitler standing?” Have you ever wondered why an orator is expected to deliver a speech standing?

Is it a custom because Demosthenes (Father of Public speaking, sculpture shown in picture) used to deliver all his speeches standing? Is it due to the fact that the speaker would be visible if he is standing? Then why don’t orators sit on a chair on top of a podium and deliver their speech.

May be it is a way of showing respect to your listeners. But who made the rules? A lot of saints in India do sit down and give their sermons. Everyone would agree that there should be a scientific reason behind it. Today we just follow it without knowing the purpose behind it.

It seems brain’s information processing speed increases 5-20% while standing. This was discovered during a study conducted by University of Southern California. Thus a speech would be delivered better while standing than sitting. People may have realized that the flow of thoughts was smoother while standing and thus the custom. That could be the reason why Thomas Jefferson, Ernest Hemingway and Winston Churchill, all stood not only while delivering speeches but also stood while working.

Shattered Dreams

2005-04-28T11:27:00.000-07:00

Life is like a wine glass. You could be holding it in your hand admiring the serene beauty of life & enjoying every sip of wine. You start to believe that you are the connoisseur of wine and wine glasses.

Contended with what you have you start moving to cover higher ground. You simply enjoy the high you are in, not realizing the value of the wine you’re sipping.

And at the next instant it could happen that the wine glass slips away from your hand break into a million pieces spilling all the wine around. The inertia and the smell of the wine intoxicates you and makes you want it back.

If you are blessed you may be successful in mending the broken glass. In most cases things are irreversible. Always remember "Don't take failure to your heart and don't let success get to your head". No matter what happens you have to cover higher ground.

Cest la vie

2005-04-26T09:23:00.000-07:00

Today I miss playing tennis so much. I fail to spot a valid reason to have stopped playing tennis in the first place. Injuries is a reason in which I could find solace in before, but today I believe I was down right lazy.

But somebody who was not lazy and made an impression every time he was on court was Pete Sampras

The most emotional moments of tennis, should undoubtedly be when Pete Sampras retired from professional tennis. Salutations to the man who made tennis look so classy and effortless.

Introspection..

2005-04-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

I have goals to achieve in life. What if I am not able to achieve my goals ethically, will I do things unjustly to reach my goals? What is more important in life, to have a piece of mind or to achieve what I aim for?

I have never tried to deliberately hurt anyone, but in the bargain I have had to sacrifice and bleed so much from within. For the well being of someone else, is it worth hurting myself and losing out on my goals?

Yes, I have seen people getting what they want unjustly. I have seen them hurt others directly. I don’t see them repenting or regretting at this point of time. Nor have I seen bad thing happening to them.

Then why is it that my conscience does not allow me to take the wrong path. Is it because I fear the existence of heaven and hell? Is it because cycles of life and death might exist? Is it because I fear my near and dear will be hurt because I’ve not been ethical?

What ever be the case no god will accept my excuses if I do not achieve what I have set out to achieve. As Ralph Waldo Emerson says “all sensible people are selfish”. I am not telling I will be unjust. I am telling I will prioritize myself before anything or anybody else. Nobody is going to help me if I don’t help myself. If I am not successful in today’s world it’s my fault not the worlds.

Conspiracy Theory

2005-04-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

I am no Ralph Rene to write a conspiracy theory. But I have a theory of my own. I am not a cynic but I have my doubts.

Today the times are very uncertain for any government in India. Every political party is trying to do something to make them selves the obvious choice of the people. The one government that strikes peace accord with Pakistan is the winner of this race. Governments have come and gone, each one has tried one a shot at it.

There have been quite a few rendezvous between the two governments. Now the Pakistan’s Tour of India has been used to get political mileage. I believe that the cricket series was compromised just to get Musharraf smile.

A couple of reasons why I fear what I say is true because
Musharraf is invited to witness a cricket match. I’ve never seen Bangladesh or Australian Head of State invited to witness a cricket match.
Why was the venue Delhi despite construction still going on? Was it because it was easy for all politicians to meet?
Venue was fixed with help of government funding and push.
India did quite well in the first two matches. Why did they start playing terribly after Musharraf accepted the invitation?
Why did Saurav not play in the 5th and 6th one day though ICC allowed him to play?
Was the team under pressure from the government to lose the series? Was it because this would make Musharraf happy and this would start a new chapter in Indo-Pakistan relations?

These are young governments but the wounds are old. Let the government be reminded, Pokhran did not stop Kargil. What is a Cricket series?

Deja Vu

2005-04-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

Last month was very hectic for me. Organizing the School Reunion was a humongous task. I consulted and coordinated with my friends to get the show on the road. The phone never stopped ringing. There was always something to be done. The excitement of seeing old friends and wanting them to have a good time kept me going on and on and on.

It is said "there is always silence after a storm". It is so true. I could feel it after the reunion was over. There was nothing much to do. There were no phone calls to be made or to be received. There was a silence.

This peace took me back to my past. During school days I would wait for the exams to get over. Once the exams were over, there was no quantifiable limit to my boredom. Because of the transition from days where there was no time to think to days where there was nothing else to do but to think.

There was an astounding similarity. It was like Deja-vu (the impression of having seen or experienced something before). Thanks to this reunion, I not only met my old friends, I also got a chance to re-live one of my long lost feelings.

Camaraderie...

2005-04-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

True friends walk into your life when the rest of the world walks out on you.

I have begun to realize that my colleagues in office can never be my true friends. We are competitors. We are constantly trying to outsmart one another to get on top of the success ladder.

I have begun to realize that my friendship with my classmates was devoid of any egoism, competition, differences. We were friends because we wanted to be friends.

I have begun to realize that the fun I have is artificial compared to the fun I had in my younger days which was untainted, wholesome and pure.

I organized a reunion for my classmates from school. Organizing the reunion was not a simple job, because none of us had much contact with each other for 8 years. But I really believe we managed to pull it off because we were dying within to meet each other.

I hope this reunion was not just a get together, or a fun party. I really hope this reunion revitalizes of our friendship.

Exercise your way to a great speech!!

2005-04-16T10:07:00.000-07:00

Every sport has warm up exercises. The warm up exercises are different for different sports. In tennis, the coordination of hands and feet are important. So the warm up exercises concentrate on
increasing flexibility of hands and feet. In swimming, inhalation and exhalation is the key. The warm up exercises also demand breathing exercises. To be a good sport person it is very important to warm up. I have come to believe that there should warm up exercises even for public speaking, which should be done everyday.

It is known that a good speech has the following components (according to importance):

Body Language - 56%
Voice Modulation - 37%
Content - 7%

To give an impressive presentation we cannot be stiff like a rock or a piece of log. We need graceful movements. Our complete body is an instrument of expression. Loosening of body is possible only with a jog, stretching exercise and relaxation of facial muscles. Stretching exercise and jog will make the body supple. Relaxation of facialmuscles can give us range of expressions during a speech.

Our voices may be good enough for conversation on phone or to another person. We need to project our voice to an audience. Depending on the length of the sentences we need to take either a deep breath or a shallow breath. Breathing exercises are required, because breathing is involuntary and controlled by our brain. This also helps controllingpitch, timbre, tone etc.

The way the content is organized is also important. One way to improve that is to write one's personal dairy or a blog (dairy on the internet). You can see your style of writing improve as the days progress. "Writers block" is very common for a novice writer. The only way to get over itis to start writing.

With each exercise, the speaker learns a new style in speech delivery. This increases the ways of delivering a speech. Now, there is a wide variety of choices to use to write and deliver a speech. The speaker can use the most appropriatebody gesture and facial expression for the speech he has written. And thus deliver a good speech.

I've been touched

2005-04-15T02:02:00.000-07:00

There are some people, who touch your lives in a special way. But we don't get to tell them how indebted we are. Its a hollow feeling I have been living with for long. Because thanking them is just not good enough. Our desire within drives us to do much more, and suddenly we may be thinking of doing a little too much. We completely stop doing what were doing for them with the fear what these special people may think of us. We eventually dont do anything. I wish I could reach out to the special ones, give a hug and explain how special there presence has been.

Why is today the begining of a new year ?

2005-04-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

I met a learned man today. This is the conversation between me and him (My questions are in BOLD, and his responses follow).

Sir, if today is the beginning of a new year, what was it 4 month ago?

He said "Our year is based on PRINCIPLE and not PERSONALITIES. For us time begins with sunrise and not sunset. We are BHARATIYAS (bha=Luminous Light & ratiya=one who plays with it)

Sir, what is UGADI?

He said "UGADI = YUGA + ADI". He said it was important to describe the concept of "time" according to bharatiyas. I have given the gist (look at the picture for reference)

There is 1 immaculate, immutable, impersonal, omnipresent, unchangeable PARAMATMA
Even the gods are the creation of paramatma
The highest portfolio in paramatma's domain is held by Brahma, followed by Indra and later by Humans.
1 day of Brahmas life = 14 Indra's Life span.
1 Indra's Lifespan = 71 chaturyugas (i.e. 4 YUGAS). WE are presently in "KALIYUGA".
1 year of Indra = 360 Human Years

ADI is the beginning of everything, even before the yugas, i.e. the PARAMATMA

So UGADI is the celebration of "remembering" the PRINCIPLE that existed even before the yugas; the immaculate, immutable, impersonal, omnipresent, unchangeable PARAMATMA.

Sir, Why two ugadi's, one today and one last week?

Today is Suryamana Ugadi and last week was Chandramana Ugadi. Suryamana Ugadi takes SUN as the primary factor for calculations but in Chandramana Ugadi even the moon is given importance in calculations.

Conciousness....

2005-04-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

CONSCIOUS experience is the most familiar thing in the world and the most mysterious.

There is nothing we know about more directly than consciousness, but it is extraordinarily hard to reconcile it with everything else we know. Why does it exist? What does it do? How could it possibly arise from neural processes in the brain?

From an objective viewpoint, the brain is relatively comprehensible. When you look at this blog, there is a whir of processing: photons strike your retina, electrical signals are passed up your optic nerve and between different areas of your brain, and eventually you might respond with a smile, a perplexed frown or a remark.

But there is also a subjective aspect. When you look at the page, you are conscious of it, directly experiencing the images and words as part of your private, mental life. You have vivid impressions of the colors and shapes of the images. At the same time, you may be feeling some emotions and forming some thoughts.

Together such experiences make up consciousness: the ojective & the subjective, inner life of the mind.

Quarter Life Crisis

2005-04-11T09:34:00.000-07:00

I first read this article called "Quarter Life Crisis" in 1999. I remember reading it out to a good friend who was quite upset. The intention was to comfort her and tell her that what she was going through was quite normal.

Now, approx 6 yrs later I met her again. We were recollecting the stuff we used to speak about. So I looked up on the net for the same article and found it. While reading it out we realized we both could still relate to it.

Excited that everybody could relate to it, I read it out to my sister and her hubby. But they could not relate to it. So I guess its only for a certain age group. Maybe between 18 and 23. If you are in that age group, you would be amazed how somebody could write exactly how you feel. So read on -- Quarter Life Crisis.

Levitation lost

2005-04-10T09:50:00.000-07:00

When you are in love it seems like you are levitated. But when that euphoria is gone, your whole world comes crashing down . You seem to tell the person of your dreams:

Oh, when I was in love with you,
Miles around the wonder grew
How well I did behave.

But now the fancy passes by
Everyone around say that I
Am quite myself again.